Sniffles and Micranes

Summary: “Robin,” Artemis deadpanned. “We can’t fold two-thirds of a paper crane.” “But don’t you want to get better, Arty?” Fluffy, pointless oneshot set before Zatanna joined the team.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice


“God damn it,” Artemis moaned. Or at least, she tried to. It came out sounding more like, “Gab damb ib.”

“Stupid cold,” the archer grumbled, hunkering down in her blankets. She really missed her bed at home.

“You mean Captain Cold,” Wally snipped. His nose did his middle name justice. Artemis would have laughed at the dork if her nose wasn’t just as red.

“It’s not so bad,” M’gann piped up from her own blanket pile. All six team members were lying in the medbay, sick after an extended stay in a frozen hotel (courtesy of Captain Cold) during the worst winter storm the East Coast had seen in years. “We never get to spend time together like this without having to take down a bad guy. Oh, I know!” Her face lit up. “I’ll make us chicken noodle soup! I read that it’s a traditional Earth dish used to get over sickness!” The martian made to untangle herself from the blankets but was stopped by Robin’s voice.

“That’s sweet of you, M’gann, but you’re sick too so I don’t think you cooking will be in everyone’s best interest,” the Boy Wonder reminded her gently.

“Oh. Yes, of course.” M’gann visibly deflated. Connor shot Robin a nasty look which the younger boy pointedly ignored.

“Don’t look so down, Miss M! I’m sure your soup would have been delicious. Your cooking always is,” Wally said cheerfully.

“Agreed,” Kaldur said from his bed at the very end. M’gann smiled.

“Thanks guys,” she said sweetly before sneezing. Connor huffed.

“So, how long are we supposed to stay here?” he asked. He looked rather comical with a clothespin pinching his nose shut (the Cave could not afford another Kryptonian sneeze).

“Batman has confined us to the Cave until we get better,” Kaldur replied. “However, he did not say we had to stay in the medbay. If you would be more comfortable in your own rooms, I do not see any harm in moving.”

“Oh, thank God!” Wally exclaimed. “I’m so hungry!” He was on his feet in a second, then swayed and toppled back onto the bed.
“Crap,” he groaned. “Got up too fast.”

“Smooth, Baywatch,” Artemis snickered. Wally was back up and pointing a finger at her in no time.

“You -” His face paled and he toppled backwards again. Artemis laughed and made another snide comment about his balance (or lack thereof). Wally shot an insult back, and it became apparent that an argument was brewing.

“Please, do not bicker here,” Kaldur said tiredly. “We are all tired and frustrated, but we should not take it out on each other.” His head was already pounding; these two weren’t helping.

“Sorry, Kal,” Wally apologized. He shot one last glare at Artemis before zooming off towards the kitchen.

“Oi, don’t infect all the food! Only take the packaged stuff!” Artemis called.

“Yeah yeah, whatever, harpy,” Wally shouted back.

The archer rolled her eyes and flung back her covers. “I hate to agree with Kid Idiot on anything, but food does sound good right now. You guys want anything?”

“We’ll come too,” M’gann floated out of her bed. “I’m bored; perhaps we can watch a movie?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Robin chimed in. He grinned. “This calls for a Lord of the Rings marathon!”

“A what?” Connor asked, confused. Robin looked thunderstruck.

“You’ve never seen Lord of the Rings?” he gasped. Connor slowly shook his head.

“I confess, I have not seen this Lord of the Rings either,” Kaldur said. M’gann nodded in agreement. Robin looked like he had been slapped. He whipped his head towards Artemis.

“Please tell me you’ve seen them,” he begged. Artemis shrugged.

“Saw part of the first one. The elf guy was pretty hot, although his shooting was completely unrealistic,” she said. Robin stared, then put his head in his hands.

“I am surrounded by uneducated cretins,” he moaned. “Wally, heeeeelp!”

“Whassamatta?” Wally came back munching on a package of Oreos.

“They’ve never seen Lord of the Rings!” Robin wailed, motioning to his four bemused teammates. Wally nearly dropped his cookies.

“What?!” he shouted. His eyes narrowed. “We must rectify this at once, Gworraent,” Wally said solemnly.

“Agreed, Rhuryn,” Robin said.

“Who?” Connor asked in bewilderment.

“Our Middle Earth names,” Wally said primly. The duh was implied. Artemis put a hand to her forehead.

“I don’t even want to know,” she grumbled.

“Too bad, you’re about to find out,” Wally declared, seizing her wrist and dragging her to the lounge. The others shuffled in behind, M’gann wearing her blanket like a cape. Robin popped in the DVD and sat back to watch.

“I don’t see what’s so great about elves and dwarves running around trying to kill an evil eye. An eye, for crying out loud,” Artemis griped.

“You’ll see,” Wally said with an unusual amount of patience. “And it’s elves, dwarves and hobbits running around trying to kill an evil eye. Plus a human or two.” Kaldur turned off the lights, M’gann levitated her blanket onto everyone’s laps, and the opening credits started. But just as the narrator began speaking, the lights flickered and died, as did the TV screen. The entire Cave was momentarily plunged into darkness before emergency lights flickered on.

“Aw maaan,” Wally whined in the semi-darkness.

“The storm must have knocked the power out,” Kaldur sighed, which quickly turned into a coughing fit. In the dim light he could just barely see Wally’s pout.

“But I’m so bored! And now we can’t watch Lord of the Rings, which would have taken up a good 11 hours!” Eleven hours? the four “uneducated cretins” thought in amazement.

“Guess we’ll just have to find something else to do,” Robin mumbled. He tapped his chin in thought. Then his face lit up.

“I know!” He bounced to his feet and zoomed out of the room. Moments later he bounded back in with a mischievous grin on his face. In his arms he carried a rectangular package wrapped in brown paper and held together with string.

“What’s that?” Wally asked curiously. Robin let the package drop on the floor with a thump and pulled the string.

“Paper!” he said proudly. And indeed, the floor was now littered with small square sheets of paper. Each square had a different pattern and color scheme.

“And why, exactly, have you brought a crapload of paper here?” Artemis inquired, peering over Wally’s shoulder. Said boy stiffened slightly but made no move to push her away. “And where did you get all of this?”

“It’s not just any paper. It’s origami paper. And we’re going to use it to fold 1,000 paper cranes,” Robin explained, disregarding the second question.

“Why would we do that?” M’gann asked.

“There’s an ancient Japanese legend that if someone folds a thousand paper cranes, a crane will grant them one wish, although some stories say that you get eternal good luck instead. The Japanese believe the crane is a mystical creature that can live for 1,000 years, which is why you fold 1,000 paper cranes,” Robin said. As he explained, the Boy Wonder passed each team member a flashlight. No one thought to question where he had been keeping those.

M’gann clapped her hands together. “How lovely!”

“That’s a load of bull,” Wally grumbled. “How can folding paper bring eternal luck?”

“Hey, it can’t hurt to try, right?” Robin retorted. “Now, in order to spread the luck equally, we need to fold... 166.66 each. I mean, we could just fold 1,000 each and have six times the luck, but I highly doubt we’ll be sick for that long. Also, I don’t have that much paper.”

“Robin,” Artemis deadpanned. “We can’t fold two-thirds of a paper crane.”

“Yes you can,” Robin insisted. “You fold it two-thirds of the way then pass it off to someone else.”

“Why the hell would we do that?” Artemis demanded. “It makes no sense!”

“S’only fair, Arty,” Robin drawled. “Otherwise some people would be folding more cranes than others, and get more luck. Don’t you want to get better, Arty?”

“But wait,” Wally interrupted. “If we each fold a sixth of the total amount, wouldn’t that mean we’d only get a sixth of the luck? What’s a sixth of an eternity?” Everyone groaned.

“Does it matter, Baywatch?” Artemis ground out. “You don’t believe in the luck part anyway!”

“Um,” M’gann raised her hand timidly. “I don’t know how to fold paper cranes.”

“I can show you, Megalicious,” Wally offered slyly. Artemis snorted.

“You know origami, Baywatch?” she chortled. Wally glared at her.

“Hey! Origami is a true art form you know. Just because I don’t believe in the whole luck crap doesn’t mean I can’t make a crane!”

“You mean you had a choice between arts ‘n crafts or fishing at summer camp,” Robin quipped. Wally’s face heated.

“S-shut up, Rob!” the speedster complained.

“All righty then,” Robin clapped his hand. “Let’s get started. Everyone, grab a piece of paper. I’ll walk you through the process.” Everyone reached for the nearest piece of paper and placed it in front of them. M’gann looked excited, Kaldur seemed mildly curious, and Connor just looked confused. Artemis and Wally glared daggers at each other. Robin held up his own square of paper.

“So you’re going to start by folding the paper like this…”

* * *

Ten minutes later, Robin was ready to give up. Connor had torn his paper the moment he tried to fold it, and had to choose another square. And another. And another. The ground around him was now littered with scraps of colorful paper.

M’gann wasn’t faring much better. Her papers were crumpled and twisted from her attempts to use telekinesis. Even now she was trying to show Connor what to do but was only succeeding in confusing the poor boy more.

Artemis and Kaldur were doing well… sort of. Both had folded their papers like Robin demonstrated, but Artemis was currently arguing with Wally about which way the paper was supposed to be folded (“The colored side faces up, idiot!” “No, it’s the other way around!”). Wally already had a clumsily folded crane sitting on the floor near his knee, although seconds later it was crushed as Artemis shoved him. Kaldur was politely asking Robin about what to do next.

Did he mention they hadn’t made it past the first step?

“So much for that,” Robin groaned. He decided the other team members were a lost cause and turned to Kaldur.

“If I show you how to do it, will you help the others?” he asked. The Atlantean nodded.

“Of course,” the older boy replied. And for the next few minutes Robin walked Kaldur through the process, ending with two decently folded cranes.

“That was not so hard,” Kaldur commented. “You are an excellent teacher, Robin.”

“R-really?” Robin was caught off guard. Kaldur nodded and put a hand on his shoulder.

“I know you are anxious to prove yourself, but these things take time. I believe you will make a fine leader one day. However, I do not wish for you to ruin that chance by taking on too much responsibility too early. Be patient. You are off to a good start.”

The younger boy blushed slightly and looked down. “Thanks Kal. That means a lot, coming from you.” Kaldur smiled.

“It is the truth, my friend. Now,” he inspected his crane. “I believe I have 165 - and two-thirds - more of these to make. The process is not as tedious as one would think. In fact, it is quite relaxing.”

“Tell that to those two,” Robin jabbed a thumb at Artemis and Wally, who probably would have been shouting if their throats weren’t sore. Kaldur sighed.

“I believe I will go help M’gann and Connor. I will leave those two to you.” The Atlantean wandered off. Robin grimaced. This would be fun.
“Hey guys?” Robin asked. Both the archer and the speedster whirled on the younger boy.

“What?!” they growled simultaneously. The Boy Wonder held his hands up.

“You’re giving us all a migraine. Can’t you just fold quietly and ignore each other or something?”

“I’ve already folded one, which is more than the harpy has,” Wally said snidely. “And look, it’s -” He trailed off when he saw the mangled crane. Artemis sniggered.

“It’s beautiful, Kid Clumsy,” she grinned. Wally scowled.

“Shut up! It’s not my fault it got crushed! I’d like to see you do better.”

“Oh yeah?” Artemis raised a brow in challenge. “We’ll see about that. I bet I can fold my cranes better and faster than you.” Wally smiled wickedly.

“You’re challenging a speedster to a test of time?” He laughed. “This will be a piece of cake!”

“They have be made fast and well, stupid. Speed doesn’t mean quality. And besides, no superspeed for you.”

“What?” Wally complained. “That’s not fair!”

“The point of this is to kill time,” Robin interjected. “If we let you use your superspeed, you might as well do everyone’s cranes.”

“I thought the point was to bring good luck?”

“That too,” Robin waved a hand dismissively. “But mostly it’s to kill time while we’re shut up in here. Wally grumbled but didn’t protest any more.

“All right,” Artemis declared. “If I win, you’ve gotta do all my chores for a month both here and at home. I hate cleaning the tub,” she finished in a mutter.

“Fine. And if I win,” Wally said with an evil grin. “You have to pay for both our meals whenever we go out to eat. And I’ll make sure to come extra hungry.” Artemis and Robin stared at him.

“Did he just ask you out?” Robin wondered aloud. Wally blanched then blushed furiously.

“W-wait that’s not what I meant!” he spluttered. “Y-you just gotta - I mean, it’s -”

“Deal,” Artemis said abruptly. Both boys blinked. “Deal?”

“If I win, you do my chores. If you win, I pay for the food.” She stuck out her hand. Wally, who was still in shock, was slow to shake it.

“K-kay,” he stammered. Robin cackled, startling both teens.

“Way to ask a girl out, man,” he laughed. “So lame. But seriously, it’s about damn time.”

“Dude!” Wally whined. “I didn’t ask her out! I’m getting free meals!”

“Don’t talk like you’ve already won, Kid Idiot,” Artemis warned. “I have no intention of losing.”

“You’re on,” Wally challenged.

“But wait,” Robin held up a finger. “Artemis, do you even know how to fold a paper crane?”

“I heard you explaining it to Kal,” she said. “I think I’ve got it.” Robin shrugged.

“Whatever you say,” he replied. He glanced over to where Kaldur, M’gann and Connor sat amidst a pile of torn paper. Connor seemed to have finally folded a square without tearing the entire sheet in half. Robin looked back at the two dorks in time to see both uncharacteristically quiet and concentrating on folding cranes as fast as they could (Wally was visibly suffering from the lack of superspeed).

“I think we’re going to need more paper,” the Boy Wonder remarked.

* * *

Nine hours, three snack breaks, one and a half pillow fights and 1,147 sheets of paper later, the team finally finished all 1,000 cranes.

“Man, that took longer than I thought,” Robin said. “But we’re finally done!”

“So what do we do with them now?” Connor asked. He was still amazed, and a little proud, that he managed to fold such delicate objects without destroying them.

“We can string them together in groups of twenty and hang them up. I think I’ve seen that somewhere before.” Surprisingly it was Artemis who offered this suggestion.

“Then perhaps we should hang them in the medbay, as anyone who must stay there will need all the luck they can get,” Aqualad added.

“What a wonderful idea!” M’gann exclaimed. “Robin, do you have anything we can string these up with?”

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Robin grinned. Three rolls of string appeared out of nowhere in his hands, along with a pair of scissors.

“Nice!” Wally commended his best friend. “And harpy,” he leered at Artemis. “I totally won that bet.”

“What?!” she gasped. “You did not! My cranes are so much better than yours!”

“But I finished first!” he argued.

“Yeah, but they don’t look like cranes. They look like mutilated ducks!”

“They do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do -” Wally broke off with a series of hacking coughs. Artemis’ brow furrowed.

“Hey, you okay?” she asked uncertainly. Wally waved a hand.

“Fine,” he gasped. “Let’s just string these up.” Artemis eyed him but wordlessly passed him a neatly cut length of string. All six teens worked in companionable silence, so absorbed in their work that they failed to notice when the power came back on an hour later. It was only when a particularly loud Orc roared from the TV that everyone looked up.

“The power came back,” Connor observed. Robin grinned.

“Just in time too. Are all the cranes strung up?” The five remaining members all held up several sets of cranes.

“Oh, they’re beautiful,” M’gann breathed. And now that the team could actually see the fruits of their labor, they couldn’t help but agree. Every crane was unique, not just in pattern and color but in craftsmanship. Kaldur’s were crisp and neat while Connor’s were clumsy. M’gann’s were a little crinkled around the edges but she quickly straightened those out. Like Kaldur’s, Artemis’ cranes were neat but each wing was folded up at the tip. Wally’s and Robin’s were the most similar, not quite as neat as Kaldur’s or Artemis’ but not as clumsy as Connor’s. However, Robin somehow managed to add his signature “R” to all of his.

“Let’s put them up!” M’gann cried. She was so excited she was floating unintentionally. “Where’s the tape?”

“Right here.” Robin tossed her a roll of duct tape, which she stopped in midair and zoomed off with. Connor and Kaldur followed at a more sedate pace.

“Got any more of those?” Artemis asked. “I think M’gann’s too excited to share.” Robin tossed her another roll.

“You gotta share with us, though. That’s my last role.” Artemis raised a brow.

“You, running out of supplies? You’re losing your touch, Boy Wonder,” she teased. Robin sniffed.

“I’m sick. Give me a break,” he said indignantly. Wally snorted.

“Like that’s ever stopped you from doing anything before,” the speedster nudged his best friend.

“Whatever. Let’s go add some color to the medbay. That white always creeped me out,” Robin grumbled. Then his face lit up. “And since the power’s back on, we can watch Lord of the Rings!”

“Hell yes!” Wally cried. He and Robin fist bumped, to which Artemis rolled her eyes.

“Come on, dorks, the sooner we put these up the sooner you two can geek out,” she called as she ambled down the hallway.

“You know you want in, Arty!” Wally yelled after her. He was about to run ahead when Robin grabbed his elbow.

“So,” the Boy Wonder started slyly. “Where were you going to take Artemis for your date?” Wally nearly tripped.

“Dude! I told you, it’s not a date!” the speedster hissed. Robin’s evil grin widened.

“It’s ‘not’ a date? Not ‘it wasn’t’ a date? So it’s still happening even though you lost?” Wally groaned.

“Seriously, you’ve got it all wrong. Like I’d ever go on a date with that harpy!”

“What-e-ver you say, Wally,” Robin sang gleefully.

“Hey! Don’t give me that, you - hey, hey! Stop laughing! Rob - ugh - STOP LAUGHING!”

* * *

Recognized, Batman, 02

The blue flash faded to reveal a disgruntled Batman armed with homemade chicken noodle soup (Alfred insisted). First stop: medbay.
Of course, Batman didn’t actually expect the team to stay in the medbay. It had been hours already, and considering the League hadn’t been able to contact the Cave during the power outage, the teens would have gotten bored and wandered off. However, he just wanted to make sure. Perhaps they’d actually listened to orders for once…?

No such luck. He didn’t find the team snug in their beds (like they were supposed to be). But what he did find made his eyes widen and his steps halt.

Long strings of paper shapes (are those cranes?) in all different colors hung along the walls and from the ceiling. None cluttered the doorways or the spaces above the beds, but they were everywhere. Batman knew that if he took the time to count them all, he would find 1,000.

It would seem they weren’t bored, he mused. Either that, or they were VERY bored.

Taking one last glance around the colorful medbay, he turned and strode towards the kitchen/lounge. As he approached the end of the hall, he could faintly hear the sounds of a battle. Rounding the corner, he once again stopped dead at the sight that greeted him.

The TV was on, playing one of the Lord of the Rings movies (well, that explained the battle he heard). But no one was paying attention as they were all sound asleep. Kaldur sat on the floor with his back propped up by the bottom of the couch. Robin slept in a similar position with his head on Kaldur’s shoulder. On the floor directly in front of the TV, Wally lay sprawled out as Artemis slept with her head on his stomach. Both were flopped over Kaldur and Robin’s legs in a graceless tangle of limbs. The archer and speedster looked more at peace than Batman had ever seen them be in each other’s presence. And finally, Connor slept on his back on the couch with M’gann lying on top of him. M’gann had a smile on her face and the barest hint of a blush on her cheeks. Batman made a mental note to ask J’onn whether M’gann had ever had “the talk.”

The hero soundlessly set Alfred’s soup on the table and regarded the six teens before him. Normally he would have scolded them for being so careless (“How could you let anyone sneak up on you that easily? What if I was an enemy?”), but he decided this time he would make an exception. After all, they were hardworking heroes and deserved a break every once and a while. Not to mention they were sick, and not-so-deep down, Batman had no desire to disturb this scene.

Suddenly he smirked, and made another mental note to make a copy of the Cave’s security footage from the day. He had to keep these kids in line somehow, and blackmail sounded like the perfect way to do it.

* * *

Author’s Ramblings: Please excuse the atrocious, punny title (I didn’t know what to call this) and the horrible ending. I was looking for fanfiction prompts and found one for “1,000 cranes,” so this happened. Honestly, the whole fic started from that first line of the summary. It… did not come out like I thought it would. I didn’t expect so much interaction between Wally and Artemis (for the record, yes I do ship Artemis/Wally, no I don’t ship Robin/Kaldur, but I do think Robin looks up to Kaldur as a big brother figure). Kind of wish I brought in some of the other characters more, but I wasn’t sure how to add them in without breaking the flow of events. And don’t ask me where Sphere and Wolf went - maybe Superman introduced them to his family or something.